Heading into the mountains, Rwanda style
Catch a bus to Bunyonyi . Start with a moto-taxi into the Nyabugogo bus depot while the sun finds dust on the hills across Kigali. There ‘ll be a breeze if you leave early enough and you’ll feel like you are about to take off across the city. Weave your way through the hundreds of buses that rest in Nyabugogo and find the international ticket offices; they’re thrown against the back of a half finished storm drain and if you fall in there you’re going to need a ladder and a life-jacket to find your way out.
You can lick the dust off the streets like icing sugar...it doesn't taste very good though.
Locate a ticket. You need to go as far as Kabale and it will only cost you 5000 RWF. Joke about the muzungu price with the young bloke on the counter and wish him a good day. All of the prices are fair here but be sure to get your ticket. The bus won’t be where you think it is and will ask that you meet it somewhere nearby. It has trawled the long route from Bujumbura and has the swagger of a dog with sharp teeth and big balls. It will disregard everything in its way and lurch into a gas station while Rwandans scramble to throw their luggage on board. There is no logic here and you should count yourself lucky to have chatted with a pretty young Rwanda lady who shrugged her shoulders and smiled a lazy smile while explaining the racket.
Befriend a passenger if you can. He’ll trade English with your Kinyarwanda and pretend not to notice when you pronounce everything as if you have a flank of beef in your mouth. Don’t sit near the front of the bus. You don’t need to see the windshields of other vehicles as the bus driver flirts with the mathematics of mountain corners. Anything on the road is considered opposition. You probably shouldn’t look into ravines either. Other passengers have been burnt
The taxi bus racket. We didn't catch one of these to Uganda but you can if you want. Sadines in a can? That's right, baby!
up on the way down. There are wreckages lingering amongst the plantation branches.
Assert yourself in the custom’s line on the boarder. Be respectful of the Rwandans officials and laugh at the jokes of the Ugandans. Weave amongst the trucks on the bridge over neutral territory and smile when you can. Avoid the temptation to flee into Uganda without paying; you’ll probably be shot if you do. Share a few shillings and buy a chapatti; avoid the beef steak and chips in a bag. It is exactly what it is.
Get ready to be thrown from the bus in Kabale. They won’t stop for you to get off. This isn’t personal; it is simply that they are involved in a race with other buses and they’ll be flying until they kill somebody or reach Kampala. Once you’ve negotiated a taxi, prepare to relax by the lake in Bunyonyi. This is the entire reason for your motivation. You’ll find a slow current here and the type of bliss that you haven’t discovered since you were floating in Lake Kivu.
Use the internet if you need to know where any of these places are. Get out there and discover the beauty of everything that isn’t you. Remember to bring some music to share. Live life, have fun and enjoy fruit. Next week: part two.
This is what we see when we arrive...
Moto-taxi mate, Kigali, Rwanda. After a bit of friendly haggling, we fly. Just becareful and ask him to drive slowly. Otherwise he will drive quickly and that is not always fun.
